United Way backs Daryeelka Qoyska program for Somali parents
Parenting is difficult at the best of times. But imagine you’re a newcomer from Somalia; you’re faced with learning a new language, setting up a home, raising your children, and trying to understand the fabric of a new land and society that is totally unfamiliar.
It’s bound to be overwhelming. Even something as simple as helping with your child’s school work can be an additional stress. And that’s where Daryeelka Qoyska, a Somali program run by the Yorktown Child and Family Centre, comes in.
The child-and-family centre offers a helping hand, running a 10-week parenting program twice a year geared to Somali mothers. The program teaches them enhanced parenting skills and awareness of basic parenting techniques and an understanding of child development, says Suzette Arruda-Santos, executive director of Yorktown Child and Family Centre and Yorktown Shelter for Women. The fathers, in turn, attend a one-day workshop for Somali dads that emphasizes the importance of parental involvement in education and academic success.
Daryeelka Qoyska is Somali for “families and community working together.” The program began offering parenting workshops in 2000. Since then about 550 care-givers, both male and female, have participated and some 1,200 children have benefited.
The initiative is designed to accommodate the needs of the Somali community in the Weston Mount Dennis area, which the United Way has designated as one of its 13 high priority neighborhoods.
This fall’s program, which will begin in November, is being held at the United Way hub in the area, near Jane St. and Trethewey Drive.
Getting members of the Somali community to participate in a parenting program brought with it some challenges.
The centre had been running an enhanced parenting program for some time, but found members of the Somali community weren’t eager to participate. “One of the reasons was there was a stigma within the Somali community with accessing external services for support,” explains Arruda-Santos. “That wasn’t something you did.”
Another reason for their lack of participation was the parenting classes were co-ed. “Within the Somali tradition men and women cannot be in public spaces combined and so that posed a challenge,” she said.
And so Daryeelka Qoyska was born, a special parenting program just for the Somali community. It offers a safe place for female care-givers who can come by themselves with their children to take the workshop. At the same time, male caregivers are asked to attend a one-day Saturday workshop. And while the parents are meeting, learning and mingling, their children are in child-care playing with each other and having a snack.
Amina Warfa, the program facilitator, has a master’s degree in social work and is a member of the Somali community, herself. She’s built bridges into the community and encouraged parents, both moms and dads, to come to the program, because it would, in the end, benefit their children. It’s also designed to break down the social isolation many Somali women feel and encourage them to participate in their child’s schooling and get involved in the community, Arruda-Santos said.
“We’re helping the care-giver help their children,” said Arruda-Santos. “That’s what a parenting program really is about; it’s to help the parents affect the behaviour of the children and feel like they’ve got control over their family situation.”
To do that, Warfa brings together between 15 and 20 women. This fall’s program will take place at the United Way’s Jane Street Hub. Some of the participants have been referred through other social agencies; some have come through word of mouth. But they share one goal: to learn enhanced parenting skills and to know more about child development.
They tackle one topic a week. First, they watch a video or vignette about the issue. Then they may brainstorm around the issue, and, perhaps, do some role-playing. Each week, the moms are asked to try to employ one of the strategies with their children and see if it works. “We find many times parents come back they feel some success with one strategy and that has a rippling effect on their parenting,” said Arruda-Santos.
Topics the mothers tackle include: how to listen and encourage your children; how to set limits and communicate clearly and how to discipline without resorting to punitive or corporal violence. “We try to support them around different disciplining strategies and the establishment of parenting skills and routines that help decrease parental stress and decrease the likelihood of resorting to more punitive forms of punishment,” added Arruda-Santos.
The program is also a response to high drop out rates within the Somali community, Arruda-Santos said. “We’re taking a preventative approach with parents of children up to six years of age, to teach them about the Canadian school system; to teach them about the academic process and how they can be involved in their child’s success.”
The parents hear that they don’t need to know the subject matter to be involved in their children’s education or be involved in the parent council. They also are told that it’s okay to drop in on their child’s classroom when they take their children to school.
They’re encouraged to “learn what’s going on and be interested and engaged,” the executive director of the Yorktown Child and Family Centre explained. “Research shows that it helps with academic success (of children).”